The world is burning and we've only got each other

It's a New Year!

The snow has fallen, the clocks have reset, the frigid polar vortex on the East Coast and raging fires on the West Coast refuse to let us forget that we are ultimately powerless to the indomitable will of a violent and angry earth—Happy 2025!

It's also the time people make New Year's Resolutions. Or perhaps more accurately, by the time this article publishes, the time people break New Year's Resolutions. But that's okay, because... New Year's Resolutions are Kinda Dumb Actually.

At the start of the year, people resolve to change their habits, be more productive, hit the gym, lay out their targets and go, go, go! This is all well and fine—it's good to drive toward healthier habits! But I'm sorry, no. If you're anything like me in January, you're fucking exhausted. Of it all. All the time. The start of the new year is, evolutionarily speaking, not the time to be doing stuff.

The world is crushing us to bits

Half of this is due to real grounded earthly reasons: it's friggin' Winter! Humans did not evolve to be pumping iron in a 24-hour gym during blizzards, or update excel sheets 'neath fluorescent office lights as the sun sets at 4:40PM. Whether consciously or unconsciously, we are all quietly being called back into our caves to sleep it all off until March. I bet you're feeling it right now.

But the other reason I, you, me, we are all perpetually exhausted is due to the never-ending grind of late capitalism. As democracy continues to hurtle towards death by darkness, just as our Earth Mother demonstrates serious regrets about birthing us— it's quite clear that the only thing that's going to get us through is each other. To crawl out of that cave (when you're ready!), and commit to the very human call of intimacy and mutual aid. We need each other, now more than ever.

Unfortunately though, the trends aren't looking great.

We're going to need to party to survive

An article came out recently in The Atlantic by Ellen Cushing, titled: 'Americans Need to Party More'. 

The crux of it is that Americans are in the midst of a loneliness epidemic (the phones... the phones!, etc.), ultimately because we're not intimately gathering IRL all that much anymore.

The article points out that "only 4.1 percent of Americans attended or hosted a social event on an average weekend or holiday in 2023, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics; this is a 35 percent decrease since 2004." In addition, "although 84 percent of Americans enjoy birthday parties, only 59 percent had attended one in the previous year." And most tragically, "one in eight Americans report having no friends at all."

People just aren't getting together and connecting the way they used to. But as Ellen Cushing notes, while we all are prone—often eager—to find ways to justify canceling plans, spend another weekend on the couch, etc., these choices accumulate and can soon manifest into isolation.

[We] are obligated to create the social world we want. Intimacy, togetherness—the opposite of the crushing loneliness so many people seem to feel—are what parties alchemize. 

Warm rooms on cold nights, so many people you love thumbtacked down in the same place, the musical clank of bottles in the recycling, someone staying late to help with the dishes—these are things anyone can have, but like everything worth having, they require effort.

The reason this is so hard, though, is not because we're all terminally lazy or not motivated to connect. People want to connect. We're all just so goddamned tired of the rat race, the rising rents, the lack of support for young parents—how are we supposed to dance, when it seems like the shit just never ends?

This is why I'm here to say that it's not your fault if you just want to be alone a bit—life is hard! It's literally winter! We should be deep in the cave hibernating, goddamnit!

Unfortunately though, the machine doesn't stop. We have to survive in Hell World and pony up our insane rents, cover the work of our several teammates who were recently laid off, take care of our kids without the support networks our parents enjoyed—and yet, AND YET! the only thing that's going to get us through this extinction-level Administration, to ward off the loneliness and isolation and fear and panic they prey on to feed the machine, is going to be the support of our friends, our family, and/or our chosen family.

The world is on fire, so hold each other close

The views from Los Angeles this week have been heartbreaking. My own LA friends have safely evacuated and fortunately, as of publication, have not lost their homes, thank goodness.

However, we have got to treat this as a reminder that all things in this world are ephemeral. Our possessions, our homes, our relationships, even our own lives, could all incinerate in an instant. As environmental tragedies strike with increasing intensity, and socio-political realities continue to find new ways to grind us down, we have to remember to lift each other back up, in every way we possibly can.

No, maybe we aren't gathering as much as we used to. That is not your fault! Do not feel bad. Life is hard—by design! And yet we must build community anyway.

Find space for each other. Stay close. Have fun. Rage and shitpost into that good night (by which I mean Mark Zuckerberg pregnant). Call your dearest friends on the phone once in a goddamned while! (Note: I need to get better at this, myself) And if you've able to drag yourself out of the cave, maybe try to throw a real party or two this year.

Because if we can gather, then maybe we might find a way to dance. Even as the world burns.

Please note that this is my first time putting long-form out into the world—I'm just figuring this whole thing out! Would love your feedback, please send me an email and let me know what you think about *gestures broadly* ✨